Written by Zen Terrelonge
British actor Richard Griffiths passed away on Thursday, March 28th, suffering from complications during heart surgery.
While Griffiths has a vast number of accomplishments on his CV, for me, it’s his work on the Harry Potter franchise as Uncle Vernon Dursley that I’m most familiar with, having grown up watching him torture the boy wizard on screen since I was a teenager.
The magical movie series has a string of quotable lines, with Griffiths delivering a number of doozies himself. Check out some of the favourite lines I’ve been known to recite with my Hogwarts-loving chums/myself below.
Uncle Vernon: I’m warning you now, boy. Any funny business… any at all… and you won’t have any meals for a week.
Harry: I swear I don’t know. One minute the glass was there and then it was gone. It was like magic.
UV: There’s no such thing as magic! [Locks Harry in cupboard under the stairs]
UV: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?
Harry: [when Dudley doesn't answer] Because there’s no post on Sundays?
UV: Right you are, Harry! No post on Sundays. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. Not one single bloody letter! Not one blasted, miserable…
UV: [Running after Harry] Give me that, give me that letter!
[the letters continue to flood the house]
UV: [yelling at the top of his voice] That’s it. We’re going away, far away, where they can’t find us!
UV: I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!
UV: I’m warning you, if you can’t control that bloody bird, it’ll have to go.
Harry: But she’s bored. If I could only let her out for an hour or two.
UV: So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends? No, sir.
UV: You’re never going back to that school. You’re never going to see those freaky friends of yours again. Never!
UV: [When Harry tries jumping out of the window with his owl Hedwig] Oh no you don’t, boy! You and that bloody pigeon aren’t going anywhere!