Battleship film review

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(Rating: 12A, 131 mins) Written by Zen Terrelonge

Starring – Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna, Alexander Skarsgård, Liam Neeson.

Battleship is based upon the 1931 Hasbro board game of the same name, which I can safely say I’ve never played.

I was pretty indifferent about seeing the film because for me the trailer looked like it was for a poor man’s Transformers 4.

The trailer lied. To an extent at least. Sure, robotic alien forms invade the planet, but there’s nothing poor about Battleship.

The film kicks off as Hawaii-based boffins discovered a planet with similar living conditions to Earth.

In the years following this, the eggheads proceed to launch a communication project with ‘Planet G’, which leads to the extraterrestrials eventually making contact.

Moving on from the lab to a bar we meet the Hopper brothers, as they toast younger sibling Alex’s (Kitsch) 26th birthday.

Seemingly, Alex is something of a reckless hothead as he attempts to win the affections of new acquaintance Sam (Decker) - and who can blame him? – while big brother, Stone (Skarsgård), a level-headed US Navy man is left exasperated by him.

A couple of years later, and Alex has joined Stone to serve his country, though it’s clear the military still hasn’t actually ironed out his many flaws.

The US and Japanese Navy are in the midst of war games and set sail on a fleet of destroyer ships to let the battle commence.

However, before any kind of war gets underway, the Planet G residents make a splash in the middle of the war zone and the two countries are forced to unite against the ridiculously large gatecrashers.

Unfortunately for the sailors, Alex finds himself to be the most senior member available, meaning the task of leadership falls on his weary shoulders.

Meanwhile, his other half, Sam – yep, his harebrained scheme wooed her – is on land with double-amputee war vet and one of the sheepish signal scientists, who are attempting to provide their own brand of heroics.

Kitsch shines in the role, proving himself to be a worthy leading man just as he did in John Carter, only this time he has significantly better source material to act upon.

That said, I’d like to have seen Neeson in a larger role than his supporting part as the Admiral – and father of Sam – though his minimal time on screen has his usual frightening/likable charm fusion.

As mentioned earlier, people will undoubtedly compare the film to Transformers and I agree in some respects, but Battleship manages to keep afloat.

As an added bonus, Rihanna’s character doesn’t sing! Though I do take exception to her invading my fortress of solitude that is the cinema, a destination I can usually count on escaping from hearing her incessant playback.

*Spoiler* And from a strictly ‘she is far to overplayed and needs a slap’ POV, her character does receive a backhander, something I’m sure Chris Brown would love to see.

Interestingly, ‘RiRi’ was bestowed the honour of the cliche action lines that are a staple of the genre.

However, you’ll have to wait to see who gets the honour of saying the super cool line that is: “Let’s see if we can buy the world another day”, which is greeted with hilarious results.

Viewers can expect non-stop action, a homage to the game itself – which was the point the pace slowed down – plenty of laughs, and a splash of emotion, just the right amount to mix it up and offer some depth.

9/10

Battleship is in cinemas now.